today at work a little girl and her dad came through my line and she picked up two things of altoids and she was like “daddy let’s get the same flavor! so when you’re in afghanistan i can eat mine and you can eat yours and we can be together!” and me and my cashier just stood there like DON’T CRY DON’T FUCKING CRY DON’T BE A BABY AND FUCKING CRY
and then they left and we fucking wailed like children
When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.
She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.
She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.
Girl is 50 years old.
FIFTY. YEARS. OLD.
fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your fingers on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this.
You asshat, you’re making it sound like she snaps her fingers in half.
Martial artists like Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee (and yes, fucking Ming-Na Wen, that beautiful badass) will build up their bone strength by repeatedly (and fairly gently) striking sand, gravel, wood and steel - this creates tons of microfractures in their bones (smaller than even a hairline fracture) so the bones will heal over again and make the bones stronger and denser with increased deposits of calcium.
This has to be done over long-ass periods of time, so the bones have time to heal, and none of the fractures expand into actual breaks.
Oh, and she’s doing precise-ass kicks in HIGH HEELS.
she kicks ass like a coursing river
with all the force of a great typhoon
Anonymous asked: how do you give a girl an orgasm?
Omg I’m dead
The second worst burn that Two Face has ever felt.
Scott is the realest nigga alive.
I don’t know what this is but I love it
this show is actually hilarious.
-you smell different when you’re awake
-please help me (then smile as if nothing happened)
-you have lovely skin, I can’t wait to wear it
-your hair tastes like strawberries
-he knows, don’t go home.
-I always knew you would die in my arms
-every time I poop I think of you
-no one will ever believe you
-I killed mufasa
-I bet you didn’t feel me lick your ear
-mother told me it would be like this
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